Preeclampsia Almost Broke My Marriage.
Losing a baby is one of the most traumatising experiences a woman can go through. It leaves a mark on her heart, her body, and sometimes, even her marriage.
We spoke with Iwinosa, who shared how losing her first child to preeclampsia almost tore her marriage apart.
According to the WHO , Preeclampsia is responsible for around 46,000 maternal deaths and about 500,000 fetal or newborn deaths every year. It’s not just a health condition, it’s a silent threat many women don’t see coming.,
The Conversation
Us: Hello Iwinosa, thank you so much for letting us do this. We know how sensitive this matter is.
Iw: Oh, it’s my pleasure. I want more women to know how serious this condition is and take steps to protect themselves.
Can you walk us through your pregnancy — before and during?
Sure. I got pregnant at 27, three years after my marriage. It was totally intentional; my husband and I had agreed to hit certain career milestones before starting a family.
When I found out the good news, I was in the middle of a major project at work. I’d just become a unit head, so even though I was excited, I was also worried. I had something to prove, and pregnancy is a lot of work. But I told myself, “I’m no stranger to hard things, so pregnancy will just be another one of them.”
Wow, an ambitious woman! We stan!
[laughs] Thank you!
When did you find out you had preeclampsia?
Around the 21st week or so. Before that, everything was smooth. I was consistent with my antenatal, taking my vitamins — you know, doing all the right things.
Then I started having throbbing headaches that just wouldn’t go away. I thought it was from work stress because I do a lot of mental heavy lifting, so I just shoved it to one side. I didn’t want to tell my doctor because I didn’t want to hear, “You need to rest.” So I just took PCM like candy.
But during one antenatal visit, my gynae noticed elevated blood pressure and also protein in my urine. Na there I know say kasala don burst o! She asked a few questions, ran some tests, and that’s how I got diagnose
How did you and your husband handle the diagnosis?
We were terrified. The doctor explained how serious it was, and I couldn’t believe my ears. High blood pressure? At 27? It felt unreal.
The doctor started managing the condition immediately since it was too early to deliver.
Having a qualified gynae hold your hand during pregnancy is key. Let’s do that for you.
Can you talk to us about the days leading up to your child’s passing and the months after?
Hmm… I honestly can’t remember all the details because of how traumatic it was. My brain tries to bury it. But I remember feeling very nauseous, barely able to see, then waking up in the hospital being prepared for emergency surgery — the baby needed to come out immediately.
I tried to speak but no words came out. I saw my husband talking to the doctor and my mum in the corner praying. My blood pressure had been dangerously high for too long, and I’d convulsed. The baby was in critical condition.
We lost our first child at 28 weeks.
After that, everything went dark. I didn’t speak to anyone for weeks. I refused visitors. I wanted to die. I quit my job and blamed myself every single day for the loss of that child.
My husband was the number one recipient of my grief. Even though he was hurting too, he held space for me. He supported me and constantly reminded me it wasn’t my fault.
Our relationship was really strained during that period, but thankfully, today we have a 10-year-old, and our marriage is stronger than ever.
Awww, that’s beautiful. Did you guys try for another baby immediately after?
No o! I was too scared. We waited about a year before trying again.
What do you want women and couples to take away from your story?
[laughs] A lot o, but I’ll keep it short.
Women, please tell your doctor everything. Don’t ignore anything or shove it to the side. Go for your antenatal and be consistent.
I know Nigerian women are Amazons, but biko, give yourself grace. You’re growing life — and with a life-threatening condition like preeclampsia, you need all the grace you can get.
Men, support your partners. Preeclampsia affects both the baby and the mother. Some women die from it. Pay attention to her complaints.
Beautiful words, Iwinosa. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Preeclampsia has a wide range of symptoms, from headaches to swelling, vision changes, and high blood pressure. Don’t ignore the signs. Schedule a check-up today and take control of your health.
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