Fibroid Made Me Desperate for Marriage.
Fibroid, though not a death sentence, has caused a lot of harm to a number of women in Nigeria, largely because of the fear, misconceptions, and expectations surrounding it.
We spoke with Susan, who discovered she had fibroids at the age of 30, and that diagnosis marked the beginning of a streak of tolerance of cheating, domestic abuse, and emotional abuse.
Now 35, Susan has become an advocate for the surgical removal of symptomatic fibroids, sharing how the decision helped lift an unseen burden. She talks about her experience with desperation, as well as what life looked like before and after her fibroid surgery.
[COHIG]:
Hello Susan, how are you?
Thank you for joining us today.
As we know, you’re such a big advocate for having fibroid surgery, and we know why, but we’d love for you to share your story with our audience.
[SUSAN]:
I’m fine, thank you.
Lol, yes o.
I’m always happy to share my story. Omo, living with fibroid scarred my life. I tolerated rubbish from men.
[COHIG]:
How?
[SUSAN]:
When I was first diagnosed with symptomatic fibroid, my aunty advised me to quickly have my children before the surgery because no man would want to marry me after seeing that scar on my belly.
I had also heard of women who couldn’t have children after having fibroid surgery, and I didn’t want that to be my case.
That was when my desperation started. I was ready to marry as a third wife as long as I wouldn’t have my child out of wedlock.
Mind you, I was raised in a godly home, but desperation blocked my eyes. I didn’t want to be a baby mama because raising a child alone is not easy. I grew up with both my parents in one house, and I wanted that for my child too.
Symptomatic fibroid is one that causes problems such as bleeding, worsening menstrual pain, urinary difficulties, body disfigurement, low blood volume due to excessive bleeding, prolonged menses, and heavy menstrual flow. It can also cause kidney problems due to a backlog of urine when a large fibroid compresses the urethra and causes an obstruction in the urinary pathway
Looking to remove a symptomatic fibroid? Speak to our gynaecologist today
[COHIG]:
Can you tell us more about what you suffered because of desperation?
[SUSAN]:
[Laughs] yes o. Emotional abuse ×1000, physical abuse ×10,000.
I feel like evil men can smell your desperation.
I had an ex who would take my money and tell me it was his compensation for putting up with a lady who had fibroid. I was beaten up several times, but yet I stayed because ‘marriage was in view’.
I remember being slapped so badly that I had blurry vision for at least 10 minutes straight.
Omo, desperation is a bad thing.
My mum is late, so my aunty was like a mother to me. She would say, “Stay. The man will change once you guys are married and have kids. Children change men.”
[Laughs]
Thank God I did the surgery and I ran for my life.
My dad also hasn’t gotten himself since my mother died, so I couldn’t really tell him what I was going through. The man was already going through a lot.
[COHIG]:
Wow.
What changed? Why did you have the surgery?
[Susan]:
One day, I had bled so much because of the fibroid, and I was extremely weak. I was just drifting in and out of sleep because I was too weak to keep my eyes open.
I called my junior sister to come and follow me to the hospital because I didn’t want to go alone, so she was on her way.
My boyfriend at the time came to visit, and instead of even taking me to the hospital, this guy was screaming at me for having no food in my fridge, saying that’s why he couldn’t marry me yet because I was ‘lazy’.
I just lay there, too weak to cry.
My sister walked in on all the drama, and I could see the pain in her eyes. She didn’t have to say a word, but I understood.
I knew that as the oldest sister, this wasn’t the example I wanted to set for my sister.
She booked the Uber and we went to the hospital. I was rejuvenated, and a week after that, I had my surgery.
The gynaecologist here had already been managing my case, so she was quite happy when I booked my surgery because she had been encouraging me to have it removed. My blood levels were always low from the constant bleeding.
Woman with the issue of blood no reach o.
[COHIG]:
Wow.
How was the surgery and recovery?
[SUSAN]:
I don’t know o, [laughs]. I was given spinal anaesthesia, so I couldn’t feel anything during the surgery.
However, I would say recovery was okay. Maybe because I’m already too used to pain, so it wasn’t anything new.
I was supported by the nurses and family during my time there, and I was discharged about two days after surgery.
I was given tips on how to take care of the surgical site to prevent infection.
I remember feeling a sense of relief when I woke up. An invisible weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I was glad I did it, to be fair. Nobody should live life that way.
I didn’t inform my ex about the surgery. I just moved on from that toxic relationship.
The desperation was gone, and I became more grounded.
I’m 35 now, and I got married to the best man ever.
I married at God’s time, not at fibroid’s time, [laughs].
[COHIG]:
That’s good news. Being desperate is never a place to be.
Do you have any advice for anyone who is currently nursing a symptomatic fibroid?
[Susan]:
Plenty o. Advice full my mouth.
Please find a good doctor and get it done ASAP. You can use COHIG; they did mine and I didn’t die.
Living with a symptomatic fibroid is never okay. Being desperate for marriage is hell.
You’re not second-hand material because you had fibroid surgery. Don’t listen to those lies.
Who love you no go stress you – The words of Asake, the philosopher.
[Laugh] Thank you, Susan.
It was a pleasure having you with us.
Fibroid isn’t the end of your life. Speak to a gynaecologist to start your journey to freedom
Fibroid Made Me Desperate for Marriage. Read More »
