Experiencing pain during sex? Don’t ignore the signs anymore.
I had this boyfriend when I was 20, and we dated for five years. By the time we discovered the truth, I was 25.
He was a chronic cheat, but I kept hoping he would change.
I didn’t think he would — but I was willing to try.
Unknowingly, he had already given me Chlamydia.
Us: So you really tried to make it work?
Her:
Yes. Look, he wasn’t perfect, but I loved him. I wasn’t ready to just give up.
He kept promising he would change, and I wanted to believe him. Plus, I had invested five years. I wasn’t going to walk away without at least giving us a real chance to fix things.
Us: Okay, let's get to the main story. You said he gave you Chlamydia?
Her:
Yes, he did.
He was my first boyfriend and the only person I had ever been with. That part made it even harder when I found out.
Us: How did you discover it?
Her:
Laughs softly. Through a conversation with a friend, actually.
I was ranting to an older female friend about his constant cheating. I was telling her about his latest excuse — apparently, I had developed an aversion to having sex more than once in a day. But let me give you the backstory.
When we first started dating, we had sex frequently. But about four years in, things changed. Sex became painful for me.
I would sometimes experience sharp pain during penetration. Sometimes I would literally cry because of how unbearable it was.
But because it didn’t happen every single time, I kept making excuses for it. Maybe he was being too rough. Maybe I was stressed. Maybe I was just more sensitive that day.
I honestly didn’t think it could be something serious. I was thinking, “I’m not a virgin, so why is sex suddenly painful?”
Us: And your friend noticed something?
Her:
Yes.
Midway through my rant, she stopped me and said: “I think you should do a proper test. This guy might have given you something.”
That was the wake-up call I needed, honestly. I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before. The first time he cheated, I had gotten tested and nothing came up. But maybe something had changed since then.
Us: So you went to get tested?
Her:
Yes. My friend came with me for support.
I remember feeling so anxious waiting for the results. I was imagining all sorts of things.
Us: What were the results?
Her:
I tested positive for Chlamydia and Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID).
The gynaecologist explained that the infection had progressed and that if it went untreated, it could potentially affect my fertility.
I cried. I won’t lie — I cried hard.
Us: That must have been devastating.
Her:
It was. But you know what? The scariest part wasn’t just the diagnosis. It was realizing that all those months of pain, I had been ignoring my body’s signals.
The gynaecologist explained that the pain I experienced during sex was associated with PID. That was when everything clicked. I had been making excuses for months instead of listening to what my body was trying to tell me.
Us: Did you tell him immediately?
Her:
Yes. I went home and I told him everything.
I was angry, hurt, disappointed — all of it. I remember shouting at him, asking how he could be so reckless with my health, with our health.
He broke down. He cried harder than I did, actually.
Us: And then what? Did you break up?
Her:
No. And I know that might sound crazy to some people, but… I didn’t.
He begged me not to leave. He said he was ashamed, that he never meant to hurt me, that he didn’t even know he had it. He kept saying he would do anything to make it right.
And honestly? I believed him. Not because I’m naive — I had caught him cheating before. But because in that moment, he was genuinely remorseful. He wasn’t making excuses. He was owning what he had done.
Us: So you decided to stay?
Her:
Yes. But it came with conditions.
I told him: “We’re getting through this together. You’re going to get tested and treated. You’re going to be honest with me about everything. And if you ever cheat again, that’s it — we’re done. No second chances after this.”
He agreed to everything. He went to the doctor here at COHIG, got tested, and started treatment alongside me.
Us: How was the treatment?
Her:
It was intense. I was on medications and injections. He was too. There were days I felt terrible from the side effects, and he would take care of me.
And beyond the physical treatment, we had to work on us emotionally. We talked about why he cheated. He admitted he was insecure, that he was trying to fill a void. I listened.
We went to a counselor together for a few months. It helped us understand each other better and rebuild trust.
Her:
It was intense. I was on medications and injections. He was too. There were days I felt terrible from the side effects, and he would take care of me.
And beyond the physical treatment, we had to work on us emotionally. We talked about why he cheated. He admitted he was insecure, that he was trying to fill a void. I listened.
We went to a counselor together for a few months. It helped us understand each other better and rebuild trust.
Us: Do you regret staying?
Her:
No. Not at all.
Look, I’m not saying what he did was okay. It wasn’t. Cheating is a betrayal, and giving me an STI without my knowledge? That was reckless and irresponsible.
But people aren’t one-dimensional. He made a terrible mistake, but he also owned it, got help, and changed. We both changed.
That experience brought us closer in a strange way. We learned that real love isn’t just about the good times — it’s about whether you can face hard truths together and come out stronger.
Us: So you're still together?
Her:
We are. It’s been three years since that diagnosis. We’re actually talking about getting married soon.
I got retested multiple times after treatment, and everything came back clear. My fertility wasn’t affected, thank God. And he’s been faithful. Genuinely.
I’m not naive enough to think it can’t happen again — people are complex. But I see the work he’s putting in, and I see the man he’s becoming.
Us: Any final words for people reading this?
Her:
Yes, actually.
First: Listen to your body. The pain I experienced was a warning sign, and I almost ignored it. Pay attention to your body. We often dismiss pain or discomfort as “just stress” or “just how things are.” But your body is always communicating with you. Listen to it.
Second: Get tested. It doesn’t matter how much you trust your partner. They might have gotten it before you & viceversa. Some infections have no symptoms, and early detection can save your fertility and your life.
Some STIs may not cause obvious symptoms, but testing can help detect infections early and prevent serious complications like infertility.
Early detection and treatment are crucial. If you’re experiencing any symptoms or concerns, don’t wait.
Contact COHIG Medical Centre today for confidential testing and professional care.